Funny Scottish Poems for Burns Night

Works with a theme of humour (94)

List all themes

A Dream

"Guid-Mornin' to our Majesty ..."

A poem written in 1786 and performed by Siobhan Redmond
A Fragment

"Green grow the rashes O ..."

A song written in 1786 and performed by David Hayman
A sonnet upon sonnets

"Fourteen, a sonneteer thy praises sings; ..."

A poem written in 1788 and performed by Kate Dickie
Address To The Toothache

"My curse upon your venom'd stang ..."

A poem written in 1786 and performed by Richard Wilson
At Brownhill Inn

"At Brownhill we always get dainty good cheer ..."

A poem written in 1795 and performed by Eddi Reader
Beware o' Bonie Ann

"Ye gallants bright, I rede you right, ..."

A song written in 1789 and performed by Richard Wilson
Blyth Will an' Bessie's Wedding

"There was a weddin' o'er in Fife ..."

A song performed by Gary Lewis
Bonie Mary

"When Mary cam over the border ..."

A song written in 1793 and performed by Ralph Riach
Cauld is the e'enin blast

"Cauld is the e'enin blast ..."

A poem performed by Paul Young
Come Rede Me Dame

"Come rede me dame,come tell me, dame ..."

A poem written in 1789 and performed by Alan Cumming
Death and Doctor Hornbook

"Some books are lies frae end to end, ..."

A poem written in 1785 and performed by Alan Cumming
Divine Service In The Kirk Of Lamington

"As cauld a wind as ever blew, ..."

An epigram written in 1791 and performed by Ian McDiarmid
Elegy on the year 1788

"For lords or kings I dinna mourn ..."

A poem written in 1789 and performed by Kate Dickie
Ellibanks

"Ellibanks and ellibraes ..."

A poem performed by Kate Dickie
Epigram Addressed To An Artist

"Dear Sir, I'll gie ye some advice ..."

A poem written in 1787 and performed by Crawford Logan
Epigram On Rough Roads

"I'm now arrived -- thanks to the gods ..."

An epigram written in 1786 and performed by Phyllis Logan
Epigram On Said Occasion

"O Death, had'st thou but spar'd his life ..."

An epigram written in 1784 and performed by Richard Wilson
Epigram. Another On The Said Occasion

"One Queen Artemisia, as old stories tell, ..."

An epigram written in 1784 and performed by Richard Wilson
Epigrams on Lord Galloway

"What dost thou in that mansion fair ..."

An epigram written in 1793 and performed by Laura Fraser
Epitaph

"Lo worms enjoy the seat of bliss ..."

An epitaph performed by Derek Riddell
Epitaph For Mr Walter Riddell

"Sic a reptile was Wat, sic a miscreant slave ..."

A poem written in 1794 and performed by Crawford Logan
Epitaph On A Henpecked Country Squire

"As father Adam first was fool'd, ..."

An epitaph written in 1784 and performed by Richard Wilson
Epitaph On Holy Willie

"Here Holy Willie's sair worn clay ..."

An epitaph written in 1785 and performed by John Sessions
Epitaph on John Bushby Esq

"Here lies John Bushby-honest man ..."

A song written in 1796 and performed by Alan Cumming
Extempore reply to an invitation

"Sir, Yours this moment I unseal ..."

A poem written in 1786 and performed by Tam Dean Burn
Extempore, in the Court of Session

"He clench'd his pamphlets in his fist ..."

A poem written in 1787 and performed by Barbara Rafferty
Grim Grizzle

"Grim Grizzel was a mighty Dame ..."

A poem written in 1795 and performed by Jonathan Watson
Holy Willie's Prayer

"O Thou, who in the heavens does dwell ..."

A poem written in 1785 and performed by Richard Wilson
How can I keep my maidenhead

"How can I keep my maidenhead ..."

A poem performed by Laura Fraser
I'll Tell You a Tale of a Wife

"I'll tell you a tale of a wife ..."

A song written in 1789 and performed by Dawn Steele
Lament For The Absence Of William Creech, Publisher

"Auld chuckie Reekie's sair distrest, ..."

A poem written in 1787 and performed by Hannah Gordon
Libel Summons

"In truth and honour's name.-Amen. ..."

A poem performed by Robbie Coltrane
Lines To A Gentleman

"Kind Sir, I've read your paper through ..."

A poem written in 1790 and performed by John Sessions
Lines sent to John Syme of Ryedale

"O had the malt thy strength of mind ..."

An epigram written in 1795 and performed by Bill Paterson
Lines written in the kirk of Lamington

"As cauld a wind as ever blew ..."

A poem written in 1789 and performed by Kate Dickie
Lines written on windows of the Globe Tavern, Dumfries

"The greybeard, old wisdom, may boast of his treasures, ..."

A poem written in 1796 and performed by Kate Dickie
My Auntie Jean held to the shore

"My Auntie Jean held to the shore ..."

A poem performed by Laura Fraser
Nae Hair On't

"Yestreen I wed a lady fair ..."

A poem performed by Gary Lewis
O Leave Novels

"O leave novels, ye Mauchline belles ..."

A poem written in 1784 and performed by Robert Carlyle
On A Dog Of Lord Eglingtons

"I never barked when out of season ..."

A poem performed by Crawford Logan
On An Innkeeper In Tarbolton

"Here lies a mock Marquis, whose titles were shamm'd ..."

An epitaph written in 1795 and performed by Crawford Logan
On An Innkeeper Nicknamed The Marquis

"Here lies a mock Marquis, whose titles were shamm'd ..."

An epitaph written in 1785 and performed by Alan Cumming
On Andrew Turner

"In Se'enteen Hunder 'n Forty-Nine ..."

An epitaph written in 1795 and performed by Eddi Reader
On Commissary Goldie's Brains

"Lord, to account who dares Thee call ..."

A poem written in 1795 and performed by John Ramage
On James. Grieve, Laird of Boghead, Tarbolton

"Here lies Boghead amang the dead ..."

An epitaph written in 1784 and performed by Eddi Reader
On John Morine, laird of Laggan

"When Morine, deceased, to the Devil went down ..."

An epigram written in 1793 and performed by Liz Lochhead
On Marriage

"That hackney'd judge of human life ..."

An epigram performed by Tom Fleming
On Maxwell of Cardoness

"Bless Jesus Christ, O Cardoness ..."

An epigram written in 1794 and performed by Liz Lochhead
On Miss J. Scott, of Ayr

"Oh! had each Scot of ancient times ..."

A poem performed by John Ramage
On a Schoolmaster in Cleish Parish, Fifeshire

"Here lies Willie Michie's banes ..."

An epitaph written in 1787 and performed by Joyce Falconer
On a Suicide One

"Here lies in earth a root of Hell ..."

An epitaph written in 1795 and performed by Alan Cumming
On a Suicide Two

"Earth'd up, here lies an imp o' hell, ..."

An epitaph written in 1795 and performed by Alan Cumming
On the Duchess of Gordon's Reel Dancing

"She kiltit up her kirtle weel ..."

A poem written in and performed by Clare Grogan
Pinned to Mrs Riddell's carriage

"If you rattle along like your mistress's tongue ..."

A poem written in 1794 and performed by John Ramage
Prologue Spoken At The Theatre Of Dumfries

"No song nor dance I bring from yon great city ..."

A poem written in 1789 and performed by Hannah Gordon
Scotish Ballad

"Last May a braw wooer cam down the lang glen ..."

A song written in 1795 and performed by Eddi Reader
Sic a wife as Willie's Wife

"Willie Wastle dwalls on Tweed ..."

A song written in 1792 and performed by Paul Young
The Bonniest Lass

"The bonniest lass that ye meet neist ..."

A song written in 1785 and performed by Alan Cumming
The Book Worms

"Through and through th' inspir'd leaves, ..."

An epigram performed by Vivien Heilbron
The Braw Wooer

"Last May, a braw wooer cam doun the lang glen ..."

A song written in 1795 and performed by Phyllis Logan
The Brigs of Ayr

"The simple Bard, rough at the rustic plough ..."

A poem written in 1786 and performed by Multiple Readers
The Cooper o' Dundee

"Ye coopers and hoopers attend to my ditty ..."

A poem performed by Dawn Steele
The Dean Of The Faculty

"Dire was the hate at old Harlaw ..."

A poem written in 1796 and performed by Siobhan Redmond
The Five Carlins

"There was five Carlins in the South ..."

A song written in 1789 and performed by Annette Crosbie
The Fornicator

"Ye jovial boys who love the joys ..."

A poem written in 1784 and performed by John Sessions
The Heron Ballads : Buy Braw Troggin

"Wha will buy my Troggin ..."

A song written in 1795 and performed by John Bett
The Jolly Beggars : Love and Liberty - A Cantata

"When lyart leaves bestrow the yird, ..."

A song written in 1785 and performed by Multiple Readers
The Jolly Beggars : Merry Andrew

"Sir Wisdom's a fool when he's fou ..."

A song written in 1785 and performed by Robert Carlyle
The Mauchline Wedding

"When Eighty five was seven month auld ..."

A song written in 1785 and performed by Alan Cumming
The Modiewark

"The modiewark has done me ill ..."

A poem performed by Kate Dickie
The Patriarch

"As honest Jacob on a night ..."

A song performed by David Hayman
The Ploughman - merry muses

"The ploughman he's a bonny lad ..."

A song performed by Gerda Stevenson
The Reel O' Stumpie

"Wap and Row, wap and row ..."

A song performed by Vivien Heilbron
There's a youth in this city

"There's a youth in this city, it were a great pity ..."

A song written in 1789 and performed by Hannah Gordon
There's three true gude fellows

"There's three true gude fellows ..."

A song written in 1796 and performed by Blythe Duff
They took me to the Haly Band

"They took me to the haly band ..."

A poem performed by Alex Norton
To Dr Maxwell, on Miss Jessy Staig's recovery

"Maxwell, if merit here you crave ..."

A poem written in 1794 and performed by Liz Lochhead
To Symon Gray

"Symon Gray ..."

A poem written in 1787 and performed by Barbara Rafferty
To a Louse

"Ha! whaur ye gaun , ye crowlin ferlie? ..."

A poem written in 1785 and performed by Robert Carlyle
To a painter

"Dear - , I'll gie ye some advice ..."

A poem written in 1787 and performed by Barbara Rafferty
To the Hon Mr RM, of Panmure, on his high Phaeton

"Thou fool, in thy Phaeton towering ..."

A poem written in 1794 and performed by John Ramage
Tweedmouth Town

"Near Tweedmouth town there liv'd three maids ..."

A poem performed by Tam Dean Burn
Versicles on Sign-posts

"He looked ..."

A poem written in 1788 and performed by Liz Lochhead
Willie Brew'd A Peck O' Maut

"O Willie brew'd a peck o' maut ..."

A poem written in 1789 and performed by Robbie Coltrane
Ye'se get a hole to hide it in

"O will ye speak at our town ..."

A song written in and performed by Joyce Falconer
You're welcome, Willie Stewart

"You're welcome, Willie Stewart ..."

A poem written in 1796 and performed by Kate Dickie